Is it ADHD or Life? Caroline Moss | ADHD Therapy Talk: Grief, Imposter Syndrome & Relationships

This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’ve got a brilliant special guest for Part 1: Caroline Moss - therapist, coach, and founder of Space, Runcorn.

We take Caroline right back to the start of her ADHD journey. She was diagnosed 18 months ago, and it actually began through her work as a counsellor. We talk a million jobs and degrees, and the kind of ADHD signs that can get louder once you’ve got kids and life gets busier.

Caroline shares her next step into working in a school, and one pupil describing ADHD as being like living in a wind tunnel (which is one of the best descriptions we’ve heard). We talk looking back at school days after diagnosis, “typical ADHD signs”, masking, and that feeling of realising you’ve been coping in hard mode for years without knowing why.

We also get into the classic ADHD cycle:
- Hundreds of business ideas
- Struggling to keep friends
- Emotional dysregulation and people pleasing
- Not knowing where you fit in

Adam admits he’s scared of people in authority (same), and we talk about how similar so many ADHD stories are once you start sharing them.

Then we talk about the emotional side of diagnosis:
- The immediate grief
- The relief
- And then… cue the imposter syndrome

We go into the diagnosis process too: the phone calls, the waiting, the research rabbit holes, Right to Choose, and the GP opinions that can make you want to scream (including the classic “you just need to exercise”). Caroline hatches a plan, Adam’s fear of confrontation makes a comeback, and we talk about why people end up having to fight so hard just to be taken seriously.

We also talk about the bigger, heavier stuff — including the high suicide rates in neurodivergent people — and how Caroline now approaches GPs on a mission to help others. We discuss the expense of going private, horror stories, and the power of an army of ADHDers when people actually band together.

Then we move into relationships and work:
- The impact ADHD can have on relationships and employment
- Is self-employment the only way for some people?
- Toxic and sometimes abusive relationships
- Are ADHDers more tolerant, more accepting, or more likely to stay too long?
- Is it RSD, deep empathy, dopamine seeking, or all of the above?
- The link between neurodivergence and abusive relationships
- Regulating emotions and what partners of ADHDers might not understand

We talk about how relationships can change after diagnosis, revisit the WhatsApp dilemma and the made-up stories your partner doesn’t know you’ve created in your head, and the importance of communication (even when it’s hardest to do it in the moment).

Caroline gives us some golden nuggets of advice for arguments, Donna drops a truth bomb about a recent argument, and we ask whether we should all be writing messages… but never sending them.

We also mention ChatGPT, and Caroline reveals her ChatGPT is basically Daniel Cleaver from Bridget Jones. To be continued…

This week we cover:
- Late ADHD diagnosis and recognising signs after having kids
- ADHD at school, masking, and looking back with new eyes
- Emotional dysregulation, people pleasing, friendships, and identity
- Right to Choose, GP barriers, waiting lists, and going private
- Mental health and the reality of neurodivergent burnout
- ADHD and relationships: communication, conflict, RSD, empathy, and staying too long
- Practical advice for arguments and messaging when emotions are high

Watch on YouTube:  
https://youtu.be/7h_WV6RVy9k

Find Caroline’s work:

Space, Runcorn  
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/spaceruncorn  
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spaceruncorn/  
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@spaceruncorn  

ADHMe  
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhme_coaching/  
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhmecoaching  

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https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS  

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Send your stories / questions:  
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#ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDPodcast #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #LateDiagnosis #ADHDTherapy #ADHDCoach #RightToChoose #ADHDMasking #PeoplePleasing #EmotionalDysregulation #ImposterSyndrome #ADHDRelationships #RSD #Communication #ToxicRelationships #MentalHealth #SelfEmployment #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDCommunity #Runcorn

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

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