Is it ADHD or are we passing ships? - Relationship special!

This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, it’s a full Relationship Special… and it’s an Adam takeover. Is he prepared? Absolutely not. Is he confident? Of course he is.

We’re talking about relationships when it feels like you’re living in two separate timelines - like you’re just passing ships. And before anyone panics: we are absolutely fine. The schedule is the villain.

Donna’s got a new job, our routines are shifting again, and it’s got us thinking about how different “normal jobs” and shift patterns are compared to our slightly chaotic self-employed/podcast life. Our only day off together is a Monday… so naturally we started a podcast.

We talk about the last time Donna went back to work and Adam had a full breakdown, and how hard that period was on the relationship. We ask the scary question: are we becoming a handover couple? The kind where you only talk routines, chores, and who’s doing what next.

We get into the everyday stuff that quietly chips away:
- Do adults actually need adult time?
- Does Adam unload too much in the 10 minutes they get together at night?
- Are we scared of only becoming a “handover” relationship?

Then Donna does her quick-fire 5 questions and puts herself on the spot:
- What’s going to be difficult?
- Does Donna get moany too?
- How important is sleep?
- What are the early warning signs?
- How would Donna like it to be different?

We talk about scheduling 10 minutes together (maybe with lists??), then we go deep (leave it). What does Donna actually need from Adam? Has he stopped trying? Adam makes a confession. We talk independence, what needs protecting in the relationship, and how days off can either save you… or turn into admin days with a side of resentment.

And then we bring it back to ADHD:
- Time blindness and task switching (Work Adam to Family Adam)
- Is Donna the sounding board for everything?
- Working memory and emotional load
- Is self-employment lonely?
- RSD with quietness, emotional regulation, and tiredness

We also talk strategies Donna loves (Adam… not so much):
- A weekly meeting
- Micro connection rule (sick)
- Parallel play
- Is scrolling actually ok?

We end by saying we’ve got a great relationship, but it can still be hard - and then Donna makes Adam a little bit sick (you’ll see).

Then it’s time for the catchy segment: What Adam’s learned this week about ADHD on Facebook.
We recap last week’s lessons, Adam decides he “doesn’t have it” (is he bi-ADHD?), and this week we learn about:
- Toothbrushing habits
- Sleeping with your feet out

5 minute moans this week:
- Adam’s wedding ring (does he need a new one?)
- Why Donna doesn’t support Adam when he has business ideas at 2am

We finish with your good, bad and uglies and listener feedback — keep them coming. This one’s all about relationships, routines, and trying to stay connected when life is doing the most.

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